“You need to update your peeps about how the manuscript is coming,” said Hot Firefighter Husband. Or he might have said, “You need to update your peeps about how the grass is growing.” The answer is pretty much the same either way, metaphorically speaking: there are some really bright patches of color mixed in with a bunch of dollar weed, and depending on the weather, it might all blend together into a nice little lawn. What? I just made that up.

Writing a memoir-type manuscript is like engaging in nonstop therapy. Even when I’m not writing, the stuff I’m thinking about writing is swirling around in my head and coloring every aspect of life. I’m one giant introspective nerve ending right now, which would be fine if I was living in an island yurt with no responsibilities other than flossing. I always floss. But I’ve got these damn kids, remember? And Husband, who occasionally expects some….affection. Catch-22, of course, because without them my manuscript would be Dullsville, USA. I’m hoping that will be the name of my second manuscript, the one I write after all my children become self-supporting. HAHAHA! But a girl can dream.

So here are a few snippets of info to keep you vaguely interested in what goes on around here:

1. The book is practically writing itself, although it’s using my fingers to speak its language. It’s based on my journey from selfish vapid yuppie to hippie-ish mom with three kids and two dogs. Okay, wait, my nose is growing – three dogs. I’ll tell you about that next week. Totally happened by accident. AAACK! Nose growing again. Fine, I did it on purpose but it’s working out. Pretty much.

2. To stimulate my impaired memory, I’m re-reading old blogs, which has been a fascinating remin
der that I’ve been hauling around the same life goals for, like, a decade now. The more things change, the more they stay the same, but then the more inspired I get to really change, and then the change starts actually happening one little significant step at a time. (Gentle reminder: main goals have been to simplify, slow down, enjoy.) I have a garden now, and I water it. We’re eating out less and hanging out more at home. I’m not Caroline Ingalls yet, but I’m trying. I can make pesto from the BASIL and toss it with some YELLOW SQUASH and TOMATO.

3. Oh, my poor little Pterodactyl. You might remember several years ago when our beloved therapist Dr. Dee diagnosed him with an Attachment Disorder, and I started the Attachment Chronicles series, and then we met a different doctor who convinced us the boy’s severe anxieties resulted from a gluten and dairy intolerance. So we emptied out our cabinets and changed everybody’s eating habits, fed our son a zillion supplements a day and we all got healthier for a little while, and then the Pterodactyl turned back into an asshole. So we went to yet another doctor, a real life diagnostic psychologist with actual credentials who specializes in neuropsychological testing. And guess what? THE PTERODACTYL SUFFERS FROM AN ATTACHMENT DISORDER, related to the time he spent imprisoned in a Guatemalan orphanage. So we’ve relaxed the gluten/dairy ban, although we’ve remained committed to healthy eating and a whole food diet. And now we’re focusing on healing our son’s confused and broken little heart. Buddy the Wonder Dog is playing a role.

4. Which reminds me: Happy Mental Health Awareness Month! Have you hugged a mentally unhealthy person recently? If not, feel free to visit the My Left Hook household. We’re happy to be your one-stop shopping headquarters for regular doses of chaotic insanity. Because, let me tell you, this here mutha – who suffers from depression, teaches fitness classes, works part-time at her husband’s business and is raising three challenging kids while trying to write a book  – well, just come visit and we’ll chat. In the meantime, please know that I miss you people a lot, and even though writing the manuscript is like therapy, youse peeps have been my collective therapist for SIX WHOLE YEARS now and I can’t wait to finish writing my book so I can start writing to you again, like, all the time.

5. ALSO. Today, May 21, is my 21st wedding anniversary. To celebrate, Hot Firefighter Husband is working at the fire station, because our marriage is so strong and resilient that we don’t need to celebrate it. Trendy, huh? You can totally usurp that line if you want.

HAPPY MAY! C’mon, summer. Let’s see what you got.