A special ‘Dear Savvy Sister’

Dear Savvy Sister –

You are so smart. I have noticed with envy how you dispense wise advice like soft serve ice cream from a spout. And it’s never run-of-the-mill vanilla advice either. No, you always twist it with chocolate and wrap the whole thing in a delicious handmade waffle cone to make it palatable. Certainly the world would be a better place if you were queen of it – or a Dear Leader, or some other more equitable socialist-like title. 

But listen here. You are a little bit of a fraud, and I make this accusation with authority. I am your alter ego. You can call me the Saggy Sister, and not just because the properties of gravity have pulled a few bodily characteristics downward. So what about that, anyway? Who decided it’s less sexy for untethered boobs to hit mid-belly? I think it makes them look bigger. Not that it matters. 

No, I’m the Saggy Sister because of my sagging state of mind. You have not taken care of me, and now I’m going to get your attention the only way I know how – by crying a lot and asking your advice. 

Sister, my spirit sits quite dispirited in an abyss of my own making. I am not writing. I am not hiking. I am not gardening. I am not cooking. My enormous cache of creativity is overflowing, but is seeping out in tiny imperceptible irrelevant bursts. In other words, I’m wasting it. Instead of working on my next book, an idea for which I actually have, I spend countless chunks of time crafting the perfect Facebook reply to the latest Trump administration atrocity, or properly captioning an Instagram photo of my current foster dog, a hound mix named Amelia who is so sweet and is house-trained and loves to play and someone please adopt her soon because four dogs in one house is too many and feels like a pack.

Sister, I want to live an examined life, but one that is full and intentional. I want to spend every minute that I can outside. I want to write for hours, and I want my words to be read by one person or a thousand or a million people. I want to wake up each day with purpose, and close my eyes each night with contentment. I want to show my children it’s possible to change the trajectory of a small corner of the world with tiny gestures like smiling more and having less and watching an osprey soaring in the sky instead of watching an influencer on YouTube. 

TELL ME WHAT TO DO, SISTER! Do I resume writing my blog, or try to write another book? Do I continue letting my children believe Buitoni’s All Natural Three Cheese Tortellini is a homemade meal, or do I start buying local and cooking more from scratch? Should I lather my body with CBD oil? Make my own kombucha? 

For the love of Joan of Arc, who knew exactly what she needed to do and did it, even though she later burned at the stake for it, please stop interfering in everyone else’s life and focus a little on us before we get too old for it to matter. (Reminder: we turn 56 five days before Christmas.)


The Saggy Sister


14 responses to A special ‘Dear Savvy Sister’

  1. Lena says:

    Dear Saggy Sister,

    – Forgive yourself.
    – Set a time limit on Facebook/social media. Get in. Get out.
    – Look into Social Fixer browser add on for Facebook. It will block all the bullshit.
    – Do what you makes you the most happy.
    – Start small.
    – Take note of what gets in your way so you can address it.


    • tricia says:

      LOVE THAT LIST! I think you’ll like tomorrow’s post…xoxo

  2. Gale says:

    Feed the kids pasta meals and let the dogs run outside. Sit in a lawn chair and write a book in linked short stories or essays. Set a goal of 250 words per day. Be the turtle not the rabbit. Stare at the sky, drink your favorite tea. Eliminate coffee. <3 u

  3. Lynn Harlin says:

    Dear Writer, Things get better when I write. Sit down and work on the book idea, even just 15 minutes a day. You and your readers will feel better knowing a new book is coming.
    Love you & your words,

    • tricia says:

      Sage advice from a sage writer-sister-warrior-friend. I’m so lucky to have you on my side. xoxo

  4. Patti Peeples says:

    Many years ago, a wise woman said to me, “I’m trying to be a Human Being, not a Human Doing.” Of course, I’ve used that bit of pithy advice as both a motivator and a cudgel, depending upon the state of my schizophrenic id. I proudly say I’m a Human BEING when I’m journaling profound thoughts or saying no to a party to stay home and do nothing but read. I proudly say I’m a Human DOING when I kick ass by getting up early, exercising, growing my business and not obsessing over Trump and every podcast denouncing his very existence.

    The truth is, I careen from H. being to H. doing, always feeling – err – dissatisfied, vexed, or annoyed with myself. That, my friends, is no good.

    Maybe, for me, the goal is just being content with the Savvy *and* the Saggy, in whatever proportions they exist at any particular time. Because if I was only only one of these – even if it was 100% Savvy, I wouldn’t be enough either.

    • tricia says:

      I’m so glad we get each other. WE ARE ENOUGH, SISTER! xoxo

  5. Josie says:

    I miss ALL of you, sister! And I agree with all the other beautifully written advice. No need to obsess about what you can’t change (whether sagging or the T-word). Breathe. Be. Do what gives you joy. That will bring joy to those around you (and to those who get to read your breathtakingly wise words) and make all the difference. And if I were still in FL I just might adopt Amelia. You had me at “house-trained”

    • tricia says:

      Josie, I think she’d travel beautifully! ; ) Can’t wait for you to read my follow-column tomorrow. xoxox MISS YOU MUCH, SISTER.

  6. Becky Donohue says:

    Dear Tricia,
    I love reading everything you post. You are a remarkable person! I remember the beautiful little red headed Tricia at our wedding (almost 50 years ago now) all cozied up in a furry white coat!
    You will accomplish all that you are meant to do!

    • tricia says:

      I remember that white coat! And my first trip on an airplane!

  7. Norma Rea says:

    I think I’m missing something.. Look what you have accomplished and still work on today..
    Blog written – Check
    The Place of Peace and Crickets – Book Written – Check
    Purpose – Raising three awesome children, happy husband, staying fit – Check Check Check
    My homemade dinner? – Sometimes peanut butter and jelly – Check
    Saving Dogs – Check
    Please keep doing all of it.. You’re admired by MANY…Loved by MANY.. You’ve made us laugh with your words.. You are an AWESOME MOM! AWESOME WIFE! AWESOME AUTHOR!
    Please just keep being you! And then let’s go have a margarita!

    • tricia says:

      You are forever my fellow warrior mom. Thanks for making my day. xoxo

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