Immigrant status, and the deportation of an American adoptee

Every year around this date, I remember that National Adoption Month has nearly passed without me recognizing it, which makes me feel hugely deficient. So Happy National Adoption Month. Adoption is a beautiful, heartbreaking, complicated way to form a family, and the circumstances surrounding it are filled with joy and sadness and perpetual grief. Yay! My three little bugs, as you know, were adopted, the oldest from Vietnam and the younger two from Guatemala. They were adopted; it’s not a chronicRead more

Bernie Sanders came to my house, and he slept under the covers.

Every weekend I visit the rescue dogs at Pet Supermarket as a test of willpower. This is a secret, except sometimes I make one of the children come in case he/she so falls in love with a pup that I HAVE to take it home. This might sound familiar because this is exactly the way we acquired Yobe the Rescue Dog, and afterwards Hot Firefighter Husband made me promise to never ever do that again. I didn’t exactly promise but I conceded thatRead more

Kaepernick Redux, and more black oppression

Well, it was nice to hear from so many of you! Apparently we are very passionate about: a. standing up for the national anthem b. sitting down for the national anthem c. whether Colin Kaepernick is a decent quarterback d. pro football season in general A recap: last month, I wrote about football player Colin Kaepernick, a quarterback for the 49ers, and his decision to quietly sit down for the national anthem when it’s played at the beginning of hisRead more

The National Anthem, Colin Kaepernick, and real respect.

Last Sunday, Hot Firefighter Husband said, “This is the last Sunday I’ll be uninterested in what’s on tv.” Because football. And because being obsessed with politics doesn’t take up nearly enough of his time. My eyes began rolling in big dizzying circles. BUT THEN here comes Colin Kaepernick, a quarterback for the San Francisco 49ers, letting his brain focus on something other than big men chasing small balls. Okay, man. Now I’m interested. Colin Kaepernick is the guy who wouldn’t stand up for theRead more

#BlackLivesMatter to me. Here’s why.

This is hard. I’ve told you before that growing up in the 1970s, I attended an all-girls private Catholic school in uptown New Orleans. There were 52 girls in our class; three of them were black. No one was outwardly mean to the black girls, but neither were they our friends outside of school. The majority of these classmates were a bastion of privilege and exclusivity; I desperately wanted to be like them. I was privileged, for sure – but I didn’tRead more

Shark teeth and pimples, and the attachment disorder. We’ve got it all.

“Mom, what is this?” said the Pterodactyl, pointing to a spot below his bottom lip. “It hurts.” I looked. “It’s a pimple,” I said. “WHAT? WHY DO I HAVE A PIMPLE?” “Well, maybe because you’re growing up. Maybe you’re getting close to puberty,” I mused, although in hindsight, it probably resulted from not bathing. I offered to pop it for him, because that’s what I do, even it could lead to an infection and partial amputation of his entire chin. I’m a risk-taker.Read more

I WROTE A BOOK! I WROTE A BOOK! I WROTE A BOOK! Also….I WROTE A BOOK!

I have amazing news for the gazillions of people who’ve told me I should write a book. I HAVE WRITTEN A BOOK. And it’s going to be published. Coming in Spring 2017 to a bookstore near you: The Place of Peace and Crickets: how adoption, heartache, and love built a family Is that the best title ever or what? I could tell you what it means, but then I’d have to kill you. KIDDING. But really. I’m not going to tellRead more

Not what I ordered! WARNING: FERTILITY RANT AHEAD

I came across a New York Times story this morning that disturbed me. About a decade ago, a Canadian woman named Angela Collins and her same-sex partner decided to start a family. So they purchased some sperm from Xytex, a Georgia sperm bank, and had a beautiful healthy child. A few years ago, Collins joined a “donor sibling” registry group and, after some digging, discovered her kid’s bio dad suffers from schizophrenia and once served time in jail. She met other parents whose childrenRead more

The State of the Tyrant, year 9.

The Tyrant is nine big years old, and has decided to play basketball for the NBA because “I just keep getting better and better, Mom.” She actually is very good. Her rebounding style could conservatively be labeled as aggressive, or more accurately as hack-like. She continues to be a magical sort of child who gives feathery kisses and is prone to saying things like, “Oh, Mom, you look so beautiful!” when I’m wearing clean workout clothes. She herself dresses strangely, oftenRead more

HAPPY BELATED NATIONAL ADOPTION MONTH! And WARNING: Adoption rant ahead

Every November, which is National Adoption Month, I think, OH, YEAH, now’s the time for me to write something profound about adoption! And then it’s December and I think, OH, WELL. Failed again. But this year, the Tyrant and I experienced an actual incident for me to recount. So here is your not-so-annual National Adoption Month story, a mere four days late. Really, there were two incidents. The first involved a little boy on the bus asking her if she’sRead more