Project PB&J, concluded. Fascinating!

You may be aware of the semi-sociological experiment I’ve been monitoring in my car. To summarize: on Saturday, May 24, I made a PB&J sandwich for my daughter and wrapped in a paper towel, and gave it to her to eat on a long car ride. She never ate it, and it sat there. For days. Then weeks. I watched the sandwich carefully to see who might notice and throw it away. Hot Firefighter Husband took my car for an entire afternoon, andRead more

Slings and ARROWS of outrageous (mis)fortunes, and I’m so….fucking…..tired.

Certainly one of the symptoms of exhaustion must be Googling “symptoms of exhaustion.” Don’t people get hospitalized for exhaustion all the time? I can’t understand why nobody will put me in the hospital. In a private room. Note: if you hear that I’ve been hospitalized, please stop by and give my dogs some water. My whole body aches. The arch of my foot hurts. I have an unexplained bruise on my side. I keep swatting imaginary bugs off my chin. I’mRead more

An evening bike ride with the Tyrant

It was beautiful evening for a bike ride. I decided to pedal over to our old neighborhood to pick up the coffee delivery that Hot Firefighter Husband had sent to our old address. It’s maybe a 2-mile ride. I asked the Tyrant if she wanted to come. “SURE!” she said. With enthusiasm! Like she’d been waiting her whole life for this kind of opportunity. It might have been the longest 45 minutes in history. Here’s an approximate transcript: Are you ready, Mom? Are youRead more

The Attachment Chronicles: Part I of the next phase

My little boy has triggers, mostly related to his little sister, who continues to ruin his life by existing. Often I can anticipate oncoming tantrums and work to avoid them. For example, the Tyrant this morning asked me to watch her do a bike trick, and so I knew that the Pterodactyl was scrambling to do a bike trick, too, and that I must stay outside to watch him, even if a swarm of wasps had been encircling my head.Read more

Beach life gives us break from regular life

Something is happening here. Yesterday, I watched my darling Diva skip down the dune to the sea, her long black hair flying in the air like a silky feathered wing, and I thought: This is it. Right here, right now, seeing my daughter, all strong arms and legs, leaping off a sand dune with the sun on her back and a foggy cold breeze reddening her face. Leaning into Hot Firefighter Husband as we watch the Pterodactyl go swimming inRead more

The cold, some warmth, and other forms of love

Thirty-two years ago, I was a freshman at Notre Dame and the year’s first cold snap shocked the adventurous spirit right out of me. Venturing out across campus again and again, over ice and slush and with snowflakes clinging to my eyes,  seemed comparable to living on Mars. The only time I felt warm was in the shower. I called my father back home in New Orleans. He also had gone to Notre Dame and suffered through the frosty winters.Read more

Moving sucks, and other things you don’t know

It sucks to be me right now. Everybody agrees. If you have the misfortune to walk into my (former) home today, refrain from calling the police, as we haven’t actually been ransacked. Burglars would probably be frightened to ransack, in fact. I’m pretty sure the tumbleweeds of  dog hair have sprouted lungs and legs. They are definitely closing in on me. Yesterday we moved into the 2-bedroom condo we’re renting, but I have to return to the old house duringRead more

The Latest Plan, Part II

Here’s how Hot Firefighter Husband helped me pack yesterday: he spent two hours pulling boxes out of his closet and piling them on our bed. Then he  called me into the bedroom and said, “Can you figure out what you want to do with all this stuff?” WTF, HFH? Like you have no responsibility for the amount of crap weighing us down? Generous readers, let me present as evidence the 1979 electric clock trophy Husband received for being on hisRead more

The Latest Plan, Part I

My totally unrealistic dream is to build an wide open eco-home using lots of cool recycled materials on a piece of land crowded with moss-draped oak trees. It would be take advantage of wind-flow to minimize the need for air conditioning, and even when we’re inside, it would feel like we were outside. The Diva would sneeze a lot because she’s allergic to pollen. But other than that it would be awesome. We’ve instead chosen to raise our kids inRead more