Time to say goodbye to Old Blue.

Listen, we are not going to talk about my six-week blog break. Mmm-kay? I mean, I will eventually, because I talk about pretty much everything except my personal sex life. Exception: I talk quite a bit about my personal sex life in The Place of Peace and Crickets, MY NEW BOOK, which as you know is available for sale in a variety of places. More accurately, we’re not going to talk right now about the past few weeks. I’ll just say peopleRead more

As the New Year approaches.

Eleven days with no writing? Imagine the tips of my fingers all soft from not pecking keys, and my creative brain jumbled with unexpressed thoughts. It’s totes true. But most palpable is the rising sense of panic, the fear that my ability to string words together is as sunk as a concrete-laden body. And add to that the fear that I’ve disappointed you, Generous Readers. In reality, I know you’ve been busy baking cookies, right? And storing away your Elf onRead more

Dear Savvy Sister: So I loaned my BFF money….

The questions featured in this occasional column were written by actual people.   Dear Savvy Sister, I loaned my best friend money about nine years ago – before I had kids –  to get her car out of repo. She told me it was the bank’s fault. I also helped her get a different loan from another bank. She agreed to pay me back the money – about $5,000 – as soon as she got things back in order. ButRead more

The GREATNESS, Part II

Did you read the first one? Here, I’ll give you a link.  The GREATNESS, Part I Now you’re ready to move on.   My friend and I were talking recently, and she lamented that she wasn’t doing more with her life. “I always swore I wouldn’t let myself be like my mother,” she said. “But here I am. Just a housewife.” This friend has always spoken lovingly of her mother, and with great admiration. They’re very close. “So what doesRead more

Dear Savvy Sister: Nike was right. Just do it.

The questions in this occasional column come from actual people. Dear Savvy Sister, I’m ready to change careers – any advice on how to make money on the west coast without selling my soul? Any contacts with any large foundations in CA? Sincerely, Floundering Attorney Dear Flounder, In my short adult life – because really, a quarter of a century isn’t all that long – I have been a swamp tour guide, cruise ship purser, journalist, middle school teacher, collegeRead more

Me and Roy Rogers and Trigger and life.

When I was a child, I wanted to be a cowgirl. I really wanted to be like Roy Rogers, and I watched his show every day. I DID NOT want to be like Dale Evans. I dreamed of having a horse like Trigger and a dog like Bullet. Dale Evans’ horse’s name was Buttermilk. Blah. Do you remember the Roy Rogers Roast Beef chain? There was one not far from our house, and one year Roy Rogers made an appearance.Read more

The Diva loses some face while Mom suffers through a flashback.

The Diva and I went shopping yesterday as the final installment of her epic 4-day 10th birthday extravaganza. The last time we went shopping together, Hot Firefighter Husband interrupted us by calling to say he’d had an accident involving a BLANK and was in the hospital. This time he called to say he was at the bar of the beach club drinking rumrunners while our 5-year-old daughter played Angry Birds on his phone. So that was not an interruption atRead more

Housewifery, and how I’m bad at it

Hot Firefighter Husband has gingerly suggested that I focus more energy on being a housewife. I’ll pause for a moment while you retrieve your jaw from the floor. And now for the real shocker: I think he has a point. My suspicion is that he tired of searching through myriad laundry baskets for workout shorts, eating yogurt for dinner and not being able to find the dental floss. That last thing is totally not my fault, though. First of all,Read more

On being a contender, without blood

My trainer Son of Sam was a Mixed Martial Arts fighter before he broke his back and his neck and suffered a concussion that led to seizures then to brain surgery, all in separate incidents. But he’s fine. Just a little crazy in the head. Now he trains other men to have the same exhilarating near-death experiences he has had. Last week, two of his guys fought in an MMA event and Hot Firefighter Husband and I attended in aRead more

BlogHer tries to make me a contender.

If I didn’t write, I would shrivel up and die. That’s what’s known in writing circles as hyperbole. It’s one of the tools that writers (and people in general) use to get attention. First of all, the only way I’m going to shrivel up even a tiny bit is to stop eating so much, and even though my trainer Son of Sam says I need to lose 15 pounds to get that HOLY SHIT, DID YOU SEE THOSE ABS? look,Read more