WARNING: Parenting rant ahead. Dear Sperm Bank: This isn’t what we ordered.

Once upon a time, an Ohio woman and her same-sex partner decided to start a family. The woman – Jennifer Cramblett –┬ábecame inseminated with a sperm from a blond-haired, blue-eyed donor the couple had specifically chosen so everybody could look all match-match. While pregnant, they decided to purchase some more of that sperm so that Cramblett’s┬ápartner could later be inseminated, too. That’s when they discovered that WHOOPS, HOLY MOTHER OF LABORATORY EJACULATIONS, Cramblett had been accidentally impregnated with an AfricanRead more

MLK, and stuff I never knew.

The Pterodactyl lost his Nintendo DS privileges over the weekend for hitting his sister. Twice. Since he’s only allowed to play it on weekends, he didn’t take the punishment well. He verbalized the injustice in tones completely void of calm or reason. “YOU CAN’T DO THIS,” he screeched. He tore at my clothes, and flailed his arms like a swarm of wasps was attacking him. It took him a while to realize we weren’t backing down. Also, when he threatenedRead more