GET YOU SOME FRIED CHICKEN! And smell a Teddy, if you can.

The Tyrant had a hard morning filled with aggravation, constipation, and lost sparkly shoes, so I let her carry Teddy to the bus stop. As the bus pulled up, she thrust Teddy against her face and inhaled a long, deep, deliberate breath. It revived her as though it was sniffing salts. Or crack.

“Here, Mom,” she said, thrusting the bacteria-laden fur ball into my arms. “Bye! I yuv you.” She really does yuv me. So muck. Not a typo.

IMG_1323It’s difficult to explain Teddy’s unique smell, a strange blend of little girl drool, dog breath, and popcorn. But it’s good for her – a spiritual sustenance she invented, and a mental crutch when times get tough. I love that she understands when she needs a boost, and is beginning to learn how to take care of herself.

I thought about this as I walked home from the bus stop carrying Teddy. How long will she continue to prioritize her own well-being if she doesn’t see me – her mother – doing the same thing?

We all need to recommit ourselves to self-care, and stop feeling guilty about doing so. That’s exactly why I stopped drinking wine (hangovers!) and started drinking Uncle Val’s Botanical Gin (all natural!). But it’s also why Hot Firefighter Husband and I have turned all paleo. When you’re paleo – EAT LIKE A CAVEMAN! – you also don’t have to shower as often because, duh, you’re acting like a cave person. That’s a rule I just made up.

Foodwise, though, it has been a pleasure to focus on eating real food. I’m done with Lean Cuisine and veggie burgers and Oreos. That’s right, I’m done with Oreos. Unless they’re right in front of me and I’m TOTES STRESSED. Like that even counts.

We eat real food, and our kids eat it with us. It’s not a diet – it’s a lifestyle. It drives me BATTY when women talk to me about dieting. If you don’t know by now that diets don’t work, you need to come to my house so I can ply you with healthy home-cooked meals in exchange for you buying a subscription to my blog. Then you’ll understand how rewarding healthy living can be.

To help convince you, I have two items of interest. The first is right here, and it’s a link to a story about how “lite” foods claiming to be healthier can actually do more to damage your body than their already unhealthy counterparts.

The second is a recipe I adapted from my shrink. Really! Shrinks can cook, man!


You’ll need:

raw chicken tenders, or fish, or shrimp, or damn, I guess you could even use eggplant

Bob’s Red Mill Gluten-Free All Purpose Flour

2 eggs

salt and spices

Heat up about a 1/2 inch of coconut oil in a deepish frying pan. Coconut oil is SO wicked good for you.

Mix the two eggs in a medium bowl. Pour a couple of cups of the flour into a casserole dish. Spice it up with some salt and shit. I use “Slap Ya Mama” Cajun seasoning. But slapping your mother is never good.

Dunk the chicken in the eggs, then dredge it in the flour. Throw a little bit of flour into the pan to make sure it spits. And then….get this…..FRY THAT SUCKER.

Listen to it sizzle for a while, then flip it over and let it sizzle some more.

Last night we served this with roasted broccoli, and honest to Ambrosia, my kids ATE. IT. UP.

Fried chicken, broccoli, and gin. WE’RE ROLLING, PEEPS. Be good to yourself today.

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