My take on the contraception debacle. WARNING: Graphic imagery ahead

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Lost in the whole contraception debate is another, more compelling reason for women to take the birth control pill, which is to avoid having gallons of blood pouring from their vaginas for days at a time.

Is there any further proof of evolution? For God to have made us this way on purpose — well, it’s a serious design flaw. If men had to suffer through the indignity of leaving a meeting in order to insert compacted cotton sticks into their genital cavities, birth control pills would practically be required, like vaccinations and vitamins. I won’t even go into the bloating. And the pain. The headaches. The mood swings. Seriously, it’s like having food poisoning one week a month, but involving a different orifice.

Not all birth control pills suspend menstruation. But little known fact: when the birth control pill was initially developed, it eliminated menstrual periods. It was revised to allow periods to occur in an effort to please the Catholic church — the logic being that the method would seem more natural. Because women suffering is so natural. Anyway, the Pope was not convinced.

I’m nearing the time in parenthood when tampons will be added to the grocery list. And I know that I should approach this enthusiastically, like, Oh, honey, you’re becoming a woman! It’s a beautiful thing! Our bodies are so magical! Honestly, though, the day I had my hysterectomy was one of the top 10 highlights of my life. I’m tempted to put my daughter on birth control pills immediately just to spare us all from the drama. Would that be wrong?

All of that ranting aside, here’s a guest editorial about the issue that I penned for the currently edition of Folio Weekly, a Northeast Florida news magazine.

Read it here.

And as you read it, please remember that I don’t have horns. Also note that I’m generously refraining from talking about Rush Limbaugh, whose mere existence makes the best case possible in favor of contraception.

5 Comments.

  1. Jeanne Kleisler

    Loved your article “Bad Medicine” I grew up brain washed by the Catholic church-took 60 years to recover. Really resent their influence on elected leaders. Where are the leaders with back bone?

    • Tricia

      Jeanne, the Catholic leaders with back bone, in my opinion, are the women. And they’re stuck in the background. Thanks for reading! Come back soon ; }

  2. GM

    I see we’re still spreading the lie that “pay for it yourself” equals OH MY GOD, THE REPUBLICANS ARE BANNING BIRTH CONTROL!. So. Ridiculous.

    The simple fact is, the government cannot a.) compel citizens to purchase a product or b.) force the church to violate its faith. It’s in a little document called the Constitution. You may have heard of it.

    NO ONE is restricting access to birth control. No one is saying you can’t have it. We’re simply saying, WE’RE NOT GOING TO PAY FOR IT.

    I went to Starbucks this morning. I had to pay for my own latte. Does that mean Starbucks is banning lattes? Starbucks is waging a war on women! The horror!

    This is a ridiculous diversion tactic by the left (which is thankfully backfiring – support of Obama among independent women is down 7% since this manufactured outrage over birth control). Since it’s absolutely impossible for Obama to wage a successful campaign based on his abysmal record, the left must generate faux crisis and pretend that anyone other than the far left choir they’re preaching to believes that the GOP “hates women”.

    What I find particularly offensive is that you, and other women who are participating in the “GOP is banning contraception” lie, is that you aren’t at all bothered by the fact that your side thinks women are not capable of procuring their own birth control and so the government must mandate it be provided for them!

    You cannot claim to be an independent feminist who “needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle” when you are as dependent on the government as a fish is on water.

    Shameful.

    • Tricia

      GM, thanks for reading and for replying. Most women objecting to this, however, pay health insurance, and therefore have already paid for access to preventative, comprehensive health care. Birth control should be part of that.

  3. GM

    The vast majority of health plans DO cover it. If yours doesn’t and you can’t scrape together nine dollars a month to get it at WalMart, Target, or CVS (that’s the price WITHOUT insurance) then the beauty of living in America is that you can switch to a health plan (or negotiate with your employer for different/better coverage) that better suits your needs.

    To assert that there’s some kind of “war on women” because conservatives want the government OUT of healthcare (which is something the liberals pretend they want when it comes to sucking live babies out of healthy wombs) is ridiculous. You cannot demand “hands off my healthcare!” on one hand while reaching into MY pocket for YOUR healthcare with the other.

    I’m just asking for some honesty in the debate. Anyone from any side with any intellectual honesty can readily admit that this has NOTHING to do with banning or restricting access to birth control. But the reality of the situation doesn’t cause the stir among the net loss voters who rely on the government to meet their every need, so the crisis is manufactured.

    Like I said, thankfully it’s backfiring. Most women aren’t as stupid and reactionary as the liberals believe they are. They’re not falling for it. I’m saddened that you are, and that you’re trying to get others to fall for it too.

    I remember when feminism meant strength and independence and power. Now it apparently means demanding free things from the government because women aren’t capable of providing for themselves. Very, very sad.

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