Hurricane season has begun, and for the first time since I’ve lived in Florida, my dad hasn’t called to ask about our storm evacuation plan. I miss that call, even though we had the same plan every year: pack up the kids and the dogs and start driving, and leave Hot Firefighter Husband on duty to rescue the crazies who stay put.
No hurricanes have formed yet, but we are currently in the middle of Tropical Storm Colin and fresh out of eggs and laundry detergent. We might die.
This morning, before the storm hit with abandon, the kids went to surf camp despite the dire warnings. Husband came home from the fire station and was all, STORM COMING, NO SURF CAMP! FREE MORNING! And I was all, Um, the surf dude says it should be fine. So we sent them surfing, and it was fine, and now we’re home, safe and dry, while Colin cries big tears all over Florida.
The Diva doesn’t like the storm because it’s cutting into her social agenda. But the Tyrant and the Pterodactyl have decided to stay busy designing Teddy’s “mansion,” which needs to be built this summer. The Pterodactyl has convinced his little sister she needs to stop bringing Teddy to school because he’s worried kids will laugh at her. I feel sorry for anyone who laughs at that girl. Teddy can be a lethal weapon.
So far, the mansion includes a bedroom, eat-in kitchen, and a guillotine room. I don’t know why Teddy needs a guillotine room; sometimes it’s best not to ask questions. The materials list includes: lots of fabric, lots of wood, tiny basket, tiny bookses (sic), string, and paint. The tiny basket is to catch bloody heads after the guillotine chops them off. I’m already Googling “teddy bear house” to get out of actually building something.
Well, the rain is letting up now, although we’ve convinced the children the possibility of tornados remains HIGH and best action would be to stay home, drink my new favorite – amaretto on ice with a heavy splash of scotch – and watch Chris Matthews go nuts on MSNBC. (Have you heard of this Trump guy?) Dad would not approve of this plan. But it sounds just right to me.
Mmm amaretto.
You should try it! You only need one….
oh wow! oh my! funny and clever and oh so fresh and exact. love this family!
I’m so glad we’ve reconnected, dear friend!! Thank you!! xo
i had to google guillotine… ???
I Googled pics of it to show the girly, forgetting how it would traumatize her…..
Loved this one!
Thank you!! Miss seeing you, Carolyn! xoxo
What a great introduction to Criminal Minds! One of the Unsubs used a guillotine to decapitate his victims. Oh, yeah, it’s your children who are playing with it. Scratch that.
Oh, man….don’t get me hooked on something else. xo
This reminds me of when my son and his dad built a 6′ guillotine for his sixth grade social studies project. We used it later in the spring for the Doll and Pet Parade by putting it and my third grade daughter in the wagon. She was wearing a princess costume (long before the princess craze (1981) and a pig’s nose. There was a sign on the wagon: Miss Piggy Goes to the Guillotine.
BEST. COSTUME. EVER.